Unboring clerics: crazed lunatics who don’t care about you
As always, I’m not here to tell you the best way to roleplay.
I’m not here to even tell you a good way.
All I’m after is to offer you new ways of thinking - ways that make sense given the lore and mechanics of D&D.
See, I got to thinking today…
Clerics don’t worship gods. I mean, sure, of course they do, but it’s incidental.
They don’t choose to worship Ares off the bat - they pick the War Domain, with Ares as a god within that.
Or they choose the Light domain before landing on Apollo.
And so it is and so it is.
Like I said, I got to thinking:
What sort of person would choose to worship War or Light ahead of worshipping Ares or Apollo?
Answer?
Someone who sees the gods as flawed.
War is pure. It forces people to confront their true selves, with heroes rising and villains falling further than they otherwise would.
Light is pure. It shines on the guilty and innocent, the strong and the weak alike. It doesn’t judge, but it does illuminate.
Even the gods fail to live up to that standard. Ares favours some warriors over others. Apollo gives his blessings to some and withholds from the unworthy.
That’s one reason why Clerics worship domains, not gods.
“Okay, great. Who cares?”
Well, let me ask you this, then.
What sort of person looks upon the very gods themselves and finds them unworthy?
What would they do when faced with the far more flawed, limited mortals?
Yeah, a Cleric will smash in the face of the monster trying to eat you. They’ll patch up your wounds. Don’t think they do it because they like you. They’re looking at a much bigger picture, one where you’re barely a pixel. Even the gods are tiny in their view.
Consider Dr House. Will he fix what ails you? He’ll certainly try, but not because he values your life.
Consider Sherlock Holmes. Will he bring justice to your killer? Probably, but not because he thinks you deserve it.
To a Cleric, you don’t matter. They don’t matter. Not even the gods matter. The only thing that’s worth anything is their Domain.
You are small - so very, very small.
Speaking of the gods, though…
If you play them like humans, you’re doing it wrong. So much of the human condition is struggling with our limitations, mortality and helplessness in the face of the void. Take a person, remove all that, let them live for thousands of years and they’ll be something different by the end of it.
Different how?
The answer to that lies in Call of the Gods - my guide to writing non-human intelligences. The human mind isn’t the template for all others. It’s a product of its environment, just like every other creature.
You only ever think that AIs, aliens and orcs are human-like because you’ve never met them.
This guide will cure you of that notion, making you a much better GM or writer along the way.
Find it yonder: